The effects of bereavement
The death of a loved one brings with it many different emotions and experiences some of which may be unexpected and difficult to accept. The overriding fact, however, is that different people deal with the death of a loved one in different ways and for anyone facing such a difficult situation, it’s important that they look after themselves and seek help when they feel unable to cope.
As well as often immense sadness, where crying is quite normal and an accepted part of the grieving process even at unusual times or in unusual places, the bereaved can experience:
- difficulty in sleeping
- difficulty in concentrating
- lack of appetite
- physical pain
- violent mood swings
- feelings of guilt if not upset
- susceptibility to infection
- loneliness
- the sight and sound of their loved ones
The effect on children
Children who have lost a loved one may also find it hard to deal with their loss and may have uncharacteristic reactions. It’s important to notify their school or playgroup of the situation and, where possible, try to maintain some routine to their day – important for all people who have suffered a loss.
Help is available
How the bereaved deals with their grief depends very much on the individual but help is usually available if and when wanted.
Bereavement counsellors are specially trained to help and support people through the grieving process but sometimes, where the bereaved are suffering physically or mentally, it may be necessary for them to seek medical help.
A GP may be able to offer short term relieve by prescribing sleeping tablets or anti- depressants. Sometimes these won’t provide instant relief but it is important that these are not seen as long-term solutions. Where people continue to find it difficult to cope with the death it may, therefore, be necessary for further specialists treatment or support to be offered.
A GP may also be needed more in the weeks and months following a death as the bereaved will often find they are more susceptible to infection as the grief often leads to a depressed immune system and tiredness and inability to concentrate sets in. The bereaved, and those closest to them, should accept that the period following a death will be difficult and that it’s important to ‘pace themselves’ to help deal with the grief.
Some may consider complementary therapies like reflexology, or Reiki, to help them in coping with the trauma of their loss. There’s even herbal medicine, which is claimed to help people immediately after a bereavement, but it’s important to gain the advise of a herbal practitioner before considering this route.
Looking after the bereaved
It’s important that the bereaved look after themselves as much as possible. Although they may not feel hungry, for example, it’s important that they do eat even if it’s only small snacks rather than larger meals. Eating lots of fruit and vegetables can help as well as comforting warm milky drinks.
It’s also worth considering that it will often be hard for those bereaved to concentrate for any period of time so it’s worth them tackling tasks for shorter periods of time and taking breaks more often that normal.
The bereaved are also often encouraged to find new activities too. Some may have spent the majority of time caring for their loved ones prior to their death and to avoid loneliness and isolation they should try to find out, perhaps with the support of bereavement counsellors, if there are groups that they can join or people to meet who may even be in a similar situation.
Overall different people face the death of a loved one in different ways and there is no right of wrong way to handle this situation – they should do what is best for them but don't be afraid to listen to, and sometimes accept, the advise and support given by others.